Sometimes in the process of becoming ourselves we attract all sorts of people, but the relationships that tend to define us are the ones in which our partner’s planets are opposing our own. In these situations the partnership becomes a mirroring game, whereby you begin to understand the good things and the unpleasant things you bring into the relationship by projecting these onto your partner (because without the partner’s opposing solar energy, these aspects of our Shadow selves remain mostly dormant and unconscious).
For example, let’s say you are a Sagittarius Sun that finds it uncomfortable to find the right words and to speak quickly and cleverly when the situation requires it what you mean. However, you deeply desire you could change that about yourself. One day, at a public event, your romantic partner is confronted with the same situation: being given a slot to make a statement in front of a group of people but somehow failing at it, leaving behind a trail of incoherent half-formed ramblings. You then becoming angry on him/her/them by not doing precisely what you find so difficult in doing yourself; this ‘something’ frustrates you, and in ‘mirroring’ you, your partner shows you exactly the unconscious aspect of yourself that you desire to change; by acting in this acting in this way, he/she/them provokes your inner doubt to rise to the surface, and challenges you to make peace with your shadow in one way or another. In addition, you could also unconsciously pull or magnetize towards you some clever and quick-witted Gemini Suns, and you could crush heavily on them because they are the embodiment of the things you wish you had in your own personality arsenal. From their own perspective, other Gemini Suns are drawn to your Sagittarius Sun capacity to deeply understand the truth and to take action inspired by it rather than to sit all day and talk about you desires.
This is just one example of many: as a Cancer, maybe you hate spend-thrifty people (like Capricorns) but you catch yourself holding on to your money more than you’d like; or as a Libra, maybe you cannot stand selfish go-getters (like Aries) but find that in work situations perhaps you sometimes behave in this same manner. You can either deny this is happening to you and ignore it, or accept that you are doing such things too and integrate them into your personality which helps you in the long-run to release nervous tension and unconscious energy and become more fluid in expressing your wants and needs in reality, thereby creating a flow or energy for yourself. Suddenly, you might also find that by accepting some part of your Shadow Self (the place in our psyche where we unconsciously hide our flaws because we are ashamed of them), you can now also appreciate the astrological signs you would usually be irritated by.
There can be so much wisdom gained from these relational epiphanies, since nothing prompts us into them quicker than meeting our astrological opposite. When couples with these oppositions have an inborn willingness to learn and truly love each other and see beyond ‘the blame & shame game’, they benefit immensely from mirroring each others spiritual growth and tickling their Shadow aspects out from hiding into the broad light of conscious behavior. In a different scenario, if the relationship lesson is not integrated, the consciousness does not gain from the unconscious insight and bitterness and resentment are built in time between the partners, which will unfortunately lead to the imminent dissolution of the relationship or a life-long feeling of being trapped in an intimate situation with someone who ‘just doesn’t get you’.
As oppposites attract they generate a lot of energy when coming together. Used well-enough this mutual energy can push two people to grow beyond their dreams, but when used badly, it can lead them to self-destruction.
Here are blow-by-blow short descriptions of the 6 pairs of astrological opposites
I. Leo and Aquarius/Fire and Air: Individual will-power and Group-think
Relationship Analogy: the king and his courtiers, the entertainer and his public, the leader and his team.
II. Virgo and Pisces/Earth and Water: Social Service and Spiritual Creation
Relationship Analogy: the nurse and the patient, the editor and the writer, the lady and the chambermaid.
III. Taurus and Scorpio/Earth and Water: Material Resources and Emotional Transformation
Relationship Analogy: the farmer and forces of nature, the banker and the hijacker, the rockstar and the muse.
IV. Aries and Libra/Fire and Air: Solo Action and Relational Balance
Relationship Analogy: the photographer and the model, the poet and the body-builder, the activist and the politician.
V. Saggitarius and Gemini/Fire and Air Energy: Expansive Wisdom and Mental Fun
Relationship Analogy: the teacher and the pupil, the director and the actress, the explorer and the homebody.
VI. Capricorn and Cancer/Earth and Water Energy: Material Legacy and Homely Nurturing
Relationship Analogy: the breadwinner and the primary caregiver/the father and the mother, the manager and the secretary, the painter and the museum curator.
As a final word, I do apologize for the heteronormative view this post is taking. I’m speaking and representing mostly couples which speak to my own heterosexual perspective but the astrological placements work in similar ways in same-sex or non-binary couples. I’d be happy to read in the comments below your suggestions for broader gender identifications based on these 6 astrological, Sun-based pairings.
With universal love,