“Control freaks don’t get laid”, the words of my friend reverberated through our conversation about romance and the hardships of findings true love. The memory of this nugget of street-wisdom popped up recently as I was reflecting on the process of allowing things to happen without controlling the flow in anyway. This is difficult to do, if you have been betrayed several times in your life by your ‘nearest and dearest’. To heal this aspect in my life, I am using astrology and I chose to focus in this post on potentially the most important and yet elusive position in a chart, Neptune. My natal Sun and Mercury in Pisces are the astrological epitomes of ‘going with the flow’, yet weirdly when life gets tough I tend to act like a Virgo to ‘save myself’. Well this is because Pisces is placed at the opposite of the astrological axis it shares with Virgo – this flexible Earth sign which governs the rational mind and who can manifest practical things through hard-work and service to others. So Pisceans can act more like Virgos, and viceversa, Virgos can act a lot like Pisceans, due to this energetic opposition. I explain this strange occurence in the video below :
The trick with oppositions is to understand that both energies co-exist within yourself, and most importantly, you always have free-will to shift flexibly between various forms of energy.
We all have Neptune in our charts, and since 2012 up until 2025, when Neptune began its transit through its own sign of Pisces, this exalted energy flooded the collective unconscious with Neptunian themes: the waters of our hearts (our emotions); our co-dependencies and deep enmeshments to unavailable romantic partners or family members; where is the source of our creativity and inspiration; how to balance our work and sleep/rest patterns; and ultimately our connection to Spirit and its transcendence.
It is known that the hardest thing to do is to write about yourself, or in this case your own astrological placements, since the awareness we can muster up for others, gets blurred as soon as we turn the analytical spotlight inwards. Neptunian energy is not necessarily about going with the flow in life in order to eventually get laid as my friend so bluntly put it, but it is about enhanced sensitivity to the experience of being alive and having a human experience. It is about allowing things totake their natural course and trusting that what you want so badly will become yours, in perfect and divine timing. Neptune and Pisces energy is about having the patience of a saint as you undergo a lot of isolation and emotional turmoil in the meantime; it is not surprising that Pisces is a sign associated with both ‘Christ consciousness’ and ‘victim mentality’, and it includes a lot of martyrs under its natal umbrella. Being Neptunian is notoriously difficult and also misunderstood, due to an extreme form of sensitivity to embodying the human condition, that is powerfullu conveyed in this line from Nirvana’s song ‘Heart-shaped box’:
Cut myself on angel hair and baby’s breath
Kurt Cobain, the author, was a Pisces Sun himself. So while it is easier for me to explain how Saturn, Venus or Mars might play out in someone’s birthchart, I find my own ruling planet, Neptune, to always elude me. This energy is indeed meant to be an elusive one, since Neptune rules the deepest element, Water, and it is a flexible modality. The ruler of Pisces, the Blue Giant on the outskirts of our solar system remains the hardest to understand with the logical mind. Neptune’s energy is best felt.
In more ‘reasonable’ terms, the energy of this planet is associated with themes of psychological engulfment, bigger-than-life transcendental themes such as a higher connection to Spirit, Divine inspiration and creativity, forgiveness and redemption, and where our soul travels after we die. Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac, in the Soul’s journey of becoming as it travels through the astrological wheel of the zodiac. As the human Soul moves through the initial 11 signs, it struggles to learn and to acquire an Ego. After all those experiences, which began with Aries and reach their individualising zenith in Aquarius, the Soul reaches the 12th house and it actually begins to dissolve everything it has learned about itself, thereby surrendering to a force higher than itself. While this might seem scary and pointless, keep in mind what a relief it is to no longer have to be tightly in control of your destiny. Also, what we let go of has a tendency to come back to us, and in this way we truly master it.
Neptune teaches us that stagnation creates nightmares so it is better to unleash the human Spirit from the confines of the Ego at times, realising that if you can dream something, you can do it and when it is not manifesting, you need only to let it go and it will spring back to you (if indeed it is meant to stay in your life). This is the flow of Neptunian energy: holding on and then letting go, ebbing and flowing, knowing and then surrendering the knowledge, loving and then letting things be, gathering and then sharing it all. Just like the back-and-forth movements of the sea, like the gentle rocking movements of a baby’s craddle, like the in-and-out dynamics of sex, and the way in which we float in our most incipient form in the amniotic liquid of our mothers’ wombs. Neptune also describes the immovability of the bed-ridden and sick, those that live secluded from the eyes of society, as they undergo treatment.
It is easy to comprehend how this kind of energy is constantly misunderstood in what continues to remain a mostly pragmatic and material-bound world. We acquire and want to hold on, we love and possess, we have an Ego and want to express it, and letting go and letting Spirit take-over is most often understood as a defeat or as a loss. We want to win at all costs, and prove ourselves to be superior in the capitalist competition, so that we earn all resources and all acquire all of life’s pleasures. The irony of this energy, is that in very subtle ways and by letting go of the struggle, of the fight and of winning, Neptunians always end up winning somehow. This is because, when we dissolve the Ego, we have nothing left but our true Self, which is made of love and protected by the light of Spirit. As we show the world our real selves, and we allow ourselves to vulnerably open up and live from the heart, thereby coming back to who we are at our deepest core, the world wants us and rewards us for this courage. We realise that we were always connected to something larger than what we can know through our limited senses, and we experience bliss and satisfaction, thereby being able to manifest anything. As a Neptunian, you are a much-needed and necessary dreamer, a shaman of collective healing through the gifts of imagination.
Scientists uncovered that due to extreme atmospheric pressure and harsh weather conditions, on Uranus and Neptune, it constantly rains with diamonds. When I first encountered this fact, I thought to myself “How fitting!” since Neptunians are usually attracted to all that glitters and are able to bring a lot of glamorous fantasies in the lives of others, especially those who love them. Neptune is considered by astrologers to be the planet of illusion, dreams and creativity, and guards the veil that separates our real tangible reality and the limits of our known universe, from the vast unknown which lies beyond (Neptune is the last ‘planet’ in our solar system, since Pluto was demoted from this ‘position’).
Neptunians are people who have considerable planets in Pisces or prominent Neptune’s in their charts, and are thought to have similar characteristics as the characteristics of the planet: they are impulsive and passionate, yet dreamy, soulful people, who find using words quite difficult and prefer to express their feelings in images, by making music or by communicating their feelings through staring into someone else’s eyes. Neptunians are in essence messy and artistic people. They prefer quiet to loud bustling environments, they need sleep to regenerate, are endearing in their appearance and can seem much too vulnerable for this world. They might also escape reality, through engaging with computer-games, going on retreats, needing time alone to work on their projects, or by using drugs and alcohol to change their state of consciousness; their defining characteristic is that they do not tolerate too much reality so they prefer to escape, either in the higher energy of this escape (study, research, creativity, spiritual pursuits, creating their own family) or the lower energy of escapism (alcohol, drugs, lewd sexuality, dissappearing from people’s lives, chasing danger). Neptunians need to create something or to live for a cause greater than themselves, and if they cannot do so they tend to self-destructively wither away, depriving the world of their otherwordly talent and intuitive gifts.
In this period of study and rest, I’ve been deepening my understanding of Neptune by reading Liz Greene’s book ‘The astrological Neptune and the Quest for Redemption’. This fantastic resource aptly describes Neptunian energy:
Over and over again I have heard people completely unfamiliar with astrology describe their feelings and perceptions at such critical times with images such as drowning, flooding, drifting, dissolving, swamped, inundated, and flowing with the current (…) Their dreams at these junctures also reflect the domain of water: tidal waves, sinking ships, leaking pipes and overflowing toilets, flooded houses and torrential rain. Human beings describe with great precision, although usually unconsciously, the archetypal background of any important life experience. Neptune’s vocabulary is that of water. And water, in the myths of every culture in every epoch, symbolises the primal substance, the source of all creation (…)
From ancient times, it was believed that from water all life springs forth. We do live on a planet that is mostly comprised of water and our bodies are over 70% consisting of water, so it is not surprising that this knowledge was vehemently present in the consciousness of our ancestors. The cultural and spiritual image of the Fish, was from the beginning a highly dual one: the fish is a gift of the sea that can nourish us, but also a monster that can devour us. Ancient myths such as those of sea-mother Tiamat which can also become the sea monster Leviathan, are infused with this dual consciousness. Such stories ended up depicting the dual nature of Pisces as a creature that is pulled into two opposing directions (also metaphorically representing the force of Spirit swimming to the heights of human nature or down to its lowest bodily expressions, the eternal conflict between mind and heart etc.). More pragmatically, this energy exists in our everyday lives according to Liz Green in the following ways:
The way in which we relax into a warm bath at the end of a tiring day reveals more about the healing and nourishing power of water than the intellect can ever apprehend – how water slides deliciously over the skin, how it soothes aching muscles, how it offers the body the seductive sensation of floating without effort (…) We have all begun life in the waters of the womb, and milk is our first food. (…) Intelligent dentists keep tanks of tropical fish in their waiting rooms , because somehow the terror of the anaesthetic and the penetrating drill, for adults as well as children , is mitigated by the hypnotic rhythm of peaceful aquatic existence.
Here is the foundational myth of the goddess Tiamat, the sea-mother who creates and destroys, described in a nutshell:
In addition to this, I also enjoy how there are links established between Neptunian lore and the Moon (the lunar energy which guides my spiritual life and work), beautifully represented in the myth of the the Bakunawa:
Tiamat and Bakunawa underline the themes of ‘devouring love’ another common Neptunian concern related to the loss of the self due to being emotionally enmeshed in another (and in most Neptunian birthcharts, there is a co-dependent link to a ‘devouring’ mother that wants to ultimately break free from her child).
You might wonder at this point ‘Ok, Lexi but how do all these symbols apply to my own life?’. Well if you are a Neptunian yourself (Pisces Ascendant, Neptune conjunct Ascendant, Pisces Moon, Pisces Sun, stellium of personal planets in Pisces or conjunct Neptune) then here are some small tips on how to work with this energy and not allow it to ‘pull you under’ pychologically:
- Create a sacred space in your home or at work, where there are no distractions, to just listen to your intuition.
- Spiritualize your life – study deities and find one that matches with the vibration of your heart. Worship Spirit and not romantic partners, who are ultimately fallible because they are imperfectly human 🙂
- Reflect on your expectations regarding love and romance – are they realistic or too high-minded? (to protect yourself from harsh disappointments).
- Allow others to learn your value, by not always being available to them or saving them – constantly tending to people can infantilize them, so remove yourself from a situation when it drains you of energy to the point you cannot function, except when helped by external ‘crutches’ (self-soothers or literal medical help).
- Remember that fish can swim high and can swim low; they swim up against a stream and also down with it. By using this metaphor, if you feel stuck in a pattern, understand that it is not the end of the line, but just a cycle which you can change. Move this stagnant energy by doing something different than what you did so far. Air signs are inspirational to you since together you create ‘sparkling’ water 🙂
- Carve out time (preferably every day) to rest, dream, let your mind wander and be alone with your feelings, in order to process them.
- Trust your visions and intuitive hits, and always work towards materializing them (yes, no matter how crazy they seem – you are on to something special).
- Learn to ignore negativity and swim past toxic situations or relations. Don’t be afraid to simply walk away from disrespect. Allow that amazing intuition you naturally dispose of, to feel your way through people’s intentions and motivations. The confusing smoke screen you can create around you at times, is best used to protect yourself from those who want to abuse you or trick you.
- Trust that what is yours will flow to you. You do this by nurturing your connection to the Divine (praying, meditating, yoga).
- Your imagination is literally boundaryless, so take time to bring your ideas into a tangible form. Don’t worry about the details, just create the content – and get a Virgo friend to help you out with finnessing the final product 🙂
Cinematic Neptune & the Visual Pleasure of Escapism
During my Neptunian-themed study time, I intuitively gravitated towards a movie called ‘Enter the void’ . So I watched it for the first time and I was suprised at how much I actually enjoyed it – the free-flowing movements of the camera and the intimate and dazy colours of the cinematography (depicted a world which felt like a protective bubble) made it easier to digest somehow the difficult themes of the movie which touched upon drug-addiction, death, trauma, prostitution, abortion, loss, abandonment. It made me think so much as I was watching it, that this is exactly what a Neptune transit over Pluto feels like: The God of Illusion meeting the God of Death and Transformation.
Another movie I watched this week was Terrence Malick’s ‘To the Wonder’ (2012) which also touched upon Neptunian themes, although this one felt more like Neptune’s transit over Venus 🙂 Again the camera movements where free-flowing, and I think that Malick’s intention was to capture the motion of the human spirit (he is a Sagittarius Sun after all, so he is more concerned with meaning and the human in relation to the surrounding space, than with other more crass material concerns like Noe was, who is a Capricorn Sun). It also felt that women in this movie, were acting like fairies and I couldn’t help but chuckle at some scenes. But the overarching message and what I took from the movie was how do you deal with the experience of having it all and then remaining with nothing because you couldn’t choose. Or with feeling true love but not being able to ground it. Loving someone leads to a deep disappointed if you begin to build a life together solely on passion and disregard the principle of reality. We are shown how co-dependency and surrendering yourself to another human’s will, rather than to Divine will, can lead love to its ultimate demise.
This movie is also interesting, since it deals not only with the slow dissolution of romantic love and man’s inability to choose between two gorgeous women, but it also tackles a priest’s incapacity to feel love despite following his spiritual ‘calling’.
Overall, it seemed to me that the movie shows how if romantic love is not anchored in spirituality, it will dissolve; and that if spiritual love is not also anchored in the physical and pleasurable experiences, it ends up lacking… well ‘body’, and it becomes empty and inauthentic. I found those sequences when the priest travels through poor neighbourhoods, trying to bring solace to people from various walks of life, the most touching parts of the movie, even if his narrative thread was left mysteriously unresolved. I must say that the love story in itself triggered some wounds within me, because I too fell in love with a man who could not choose me, in spite of marrying me. I too was giving love and then felt resentful because I was unwanted.
Other examples of how this energy flows and influences a person, is represented by two women born under a Pisces Sun who ended up becoming famous actresses. People with Neptune on the Sun, Venus or Ascendant film very well in that they are beautifully photogenic, and can easily captivate audiences and make them dream and swoon. Keep in mind that Marylin Monroe, although a Gemini Sun, had Neptune in Leo right on her Ascendant which is why she was so magically magnetic. Neptune also veiled the public and her glamorous on-screen life, from the sordid reality of her personal life.
Analyzing Rachel Weisz’s chart I discovered that she is a quadruple Pisces having Sun, Moon, Mercury and Venus in the same sign (and all accentuated by her North Node also in Pisces). Moreover, she also has Mercury square Neptune in Sagittarius, so she is ultra-Neptunian. In addition, Rachel’s co-national, English actress Emily Blunt has less planets than Rachel in Pisces (just Sun and Mars) but a couple of squares to Venus and Mars from Neptune, which make her also highly Neptunian. Both of them travelled far away from home and established long-term relationships to foreign men (in Rachel’s case her first partner, Darren Aronofsky, and in Emily’s case her current husband, ). Travelling far away, working in an area of life governed by illusions (the cinema & film), dealing with powerful emotional waves, are all Neptunian aspects.
Exceptionally, both actresses also have the same Ascendant in Cancer, and to my mind are very good examples of how Neptunian energy can be used in high-vibing, and creative self-affirming ways: to empathise with the emotional experiences of others and then be able to use your chameleonic nature to render it on screen for the visual pleasure of others.
If you are Neptunian yourself, this post was a love letter to you, to help inspire you to not harm yourself because you feel misunderstood in a cold and cruel world, but to accept and understand that you are meant to be ultra-sensitivie, idealistic and weird in order to help us all ascend and transform. By reconciling the innder duality within you, you spark a creative fusion, that once unleashed in the world is like nothing anyone has even seen before. I leave you with Grimes and her bizarre and mesmerising music – she is a Pisces Sun and Scorpio Ascendant Canadian artist, who basically created a new music genre by following the path of her instinctual creative energy:
With universal love,
Lexi ❤ (a fellow Neptunian)